成功的家庭财务调解

文/卡罗琳·J. 伍德拉夫，法学博士，注册会计师，注册会计师

在北卡罗来纳州, divorce cases may have two kinds of mediation – 1) family financial mediation 和 2) child custody mediation. This blog deals exclusively with the strategy for North Carolina family financial mediation. Other references at the end will direct you to other materials on child custody mediation 和 family financial mediation. This blog discusses strategic 成功 at family financial mediation.

家庭财务调解. 复习一下, the District Court orders family financial mediation in cases where equitable distribution (property division), 孩子的抚养费, 和 spousal support (alimony) are pending before the court. In other words, you must go, 和 there is no choice. 你的律师陪同你. (你也可以自愿调解.) For the basics, see my video on YouTube named Family Law Mediation 101. The link will be in the references section below. 调解是一种协商. The mediator does not decide the case (that is arbitration).

Success is defined as achieving your goal or aim. I created an acronym for strategic success in family financial mediation. 下面是:

S是构建一个计划. 结构意味着给你的计划一个设计. I advise that you write down the top three goals of your mediation in order of priority. 如果保住房子或生意是第一位的, 其次是养老金, 和 the taxidermied boar’s head you killed on your honeymoon is third, 然后按照优先顺序把这些写下来. In a negotiation, you need to know what is most important to you.

代表你的理解. Underst和 the rules of mediation 和 the role of the mediator. 规则相对简单. 如果调解是法院命令的, you must participate until the mediation calls an impasse or until a settlement is reached. You can make confidential statements to the mediator, but you must designate the information as confidential. Otherwise, the mediator may use the comments to create a settlement. 你必须支付调解人费用的一半. Mediators may seem to be on the other side as the devil’s advocate, 但调解员在两个房间都这样做. 如果调解人达成和解，他就是赢家.

C is for consulting with your attorney ahead of time. Set at least one meeting with your attorney for preparation. I like to have a financial client set one appointment with a paralegal to get the basic spreadsheets for mediation ready 和 then schedule a second appointment with me to determine strategy, 第一次报价, 以及合理的调解目标. 有时, we determine the last offer 和 the strategy between getting from the 第一次报价 to the last offer.

C is for culling the negative thoughts out of your brain. Make an affirmative decision to believe that you will be okay 和 that the mediation will work. 是积极的.

E是吃和喝水. 调解可能持续一整天. That is too long to go without eating 和 water. 你的血糖可能会降低. Food 和 water will be offered during the mediation. You can probably get sodas, coffee, 和 hot tea. 带上你喜欢的零食. 参加,请. I have had too many clients say “I cannot eat” during a mediation, 和 at the end of the day – they were not as bright-eyed as at the beginning.

S是成交或睡一觉. If you reach a reasonable settlement that meets your top reasonable objective 和 as many more points as possible, 你将有机会签约. Discuss whether you should sign with your attorney. 如果你有合理的怀疑，那就好好想想. Remember, the other side will likely sleep on it too, 和 you can lose your progress toward settling. However, it is best to wait if you feel there will be 买方的悔恨.

S是停到另一天. No one wants their mediation to be more than one day, but it happens. 更大的金融案例, the more likely the mediation may take two or even three days to discuss 和 mediate all issues.

相信成功是你的. Success is not guaranteed as it takes two to tango, but your preparation 和 attitude will control what you can control. 你无法控制你的前任，这你是知道的.

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祝你好运，下次见，卡罗琳

参考文献

家庭法调解101 YouTube视频